Sunday, February 21, 2010


So, this schedule of working all day and my husband working all night has been feeling more than overwhelming.  It is hard to be my best when I am tired, overworked, and know there are a million household chores that need to be done... and all I want to do is make art.  Having children is unlike anything in this world.  There is nothing that can cause me to run the  gamut of emotions in one day.  At one moment I can get so angry with my daughter for doing something very three year old like, that  I find myself needing to take a time out... the next moment I look at her and I am so overcome with love that I am weeping  What a mess mothering can make you.
I taught parenting classes for years before having children.  I thought that I knew it all.  I didn't know anything.  I didn't understand how every child is different  and how a one size fits all parenting model doesn't really work.  I was going to be a sling wearing, breast feeding super mommy- whose children would never watch television or play with barbie dolls.  My daughter hated all slings.  (I spent nearly 500 dollars on different models trying to find the right one- she would arch her back and protest loudly in all of them.)  Breastfeeding was extremely difficult- and it took everything in me to be successful.  Caya loves television- and without television, I would never get any laundry done or be able to make her a meal.  Mind you, I am still very careful about the amount of television and the type of television that she watches- but still, I understand that flexibility is really what parenting is all about.  Oh yeah, she loves barbies too.
     We went to the library today with a very good friend who is also a therapist.  Caya didn't want to leave the library, so I whispered in her ear and she said, "okay!" and held my hand as I led her out of the library.  My friend commented on how nice it was to see that I could reason with Caya.  I admitted that I bribed Caya with a chocolate animal cracker I had in my purse in case of emergencies.
    It will be fun to learn more about Leo.  Thus far, he loves slings and took to breastfeeding immediately.  His temperament is calm and cool and the one thing he loves more than anything is his sister.  She can make him laugh like no one else.  Hopefully, he will also like animal crackers.


peggyapl said...

great post! i still remember how, when my daughter was a few weeks old, i wanted to train her to drink breast milk from a bottle so that i could go out without her sometimes. she didn't want to drink from a bottle and would rather just scream for what seemed like hours. as it is always said, children grow up so quickly and she is turning twenty soon. i think that it is much easier to deal with our children when they are older if we have set the foundation right when they are little.

Tina said...

I completely agree with you on how awesome and roller coaster like being a mom is. I am lucky enough to be home with Emma again, but I remember when I was working, then when I was going to school. I was so tired by the end of the week that when the weekend came around, all I wanted to do was sleep. peggyapl is right though, it does go by fast. Hang in there and sneak the art in when you can cause we love to see it :)

Miss Meliss said...

That's why they say it's the hardest job in the world. And it is. What a HUGE responsibility creating a another human being is. Society takes it much too lightly. Kids are so the new purse.

I think the most important part is that you know you don't know it all. That's THE BEST quality for an awesome Mommy to have! I've found that kids appreciate it when we admit to being as lost as they are at times. The best thing I ever did with my daughter (who is 18 and an awesome teenager!) was to show her that I am a human being too and have feelings and make mistakes and have dreams and thoughts just like she does.

Ha - you bribed her with a cookie. That's funny.


Hands to Work, Hearts to God said...

What a lovely drawing of Caya! So pretty and lifelike! Thanks for sharing your interesting stories!

Anonymous said...

I have tears in my eyes, remebering those days full of Love, laughter and Lunacy. You go girl, you totally have it going on.
peace n abundance,

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