Friday, November 5, 2010

Haiku my heart- bridge

one side of the bridge
is the constant overwhelm
the other side is peace

I haven't written since September.  I have two children under the age of five, I work full time as a mental health therapist, I teach at two universities, I am reading three theses (is that the plural of thesis?) for three of my students, I supervise interns, and I try to make and sell art.  I am in constant overwhelm and my poor little blog has suffered (my family is not very happy either.)

Lately, I have been looking more critically at this whole overwhelm thing.  Why do I overbook myself?  Is the constant buzz of being busy distracting me from something else?  The real problem is that in the past, I overbooked but always met my deadlines and met the expectations of those around me.  With two little ones, I am not quite so able.  A sick child (I have one right now) throws my entire schedule into a tizzy.  
I have been reading a wonderful book called "Healing Rage" by Ruth King.  She says that it is anger that I am distracting myself from.  She also talks about a fear of being still.  Something in this resonates.  The only time I feel still is when I make art.  It feels meditative... and I haven't done any of that lately either.  Something about this revelation feels so important right now.   I have to gather up some courage to be still and see what happens.  Anyway, that is where I have been and what I have been doing.  I have missed my Friday Haikus!   Anyone else suffer from a constant need to be busy?

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