Monday, March 22, 2010


I feel kind of emotional today.  I am not sure why exactly.  It was a hard day at work... I am not sleeping enough...I have to teach this weekend... I want to make art  (but I am completely unmotivated.) daughter has been acting like a three year old.... my son has been waking up at two every morning.. my mom just finished chemo but we don't know yet if she is cancer free... my living space is extremely bay area tiny...  and I am overwhelmed.  Some days I deal with the overwhelm better than other days
 I sent a picture of myself with my son in his sling to my parents.  My mom's only comment was, "You look sooo tired.  Are you okay?"  Of course I am tired.  I am 42 years old, I work forty hours a week, and I have two children under the age of four.  If I looked beautiful and well rested- I think something would be seriously wrong.
So, I have spent this evening reading sad blogs and sobbing a bit.  Oh well.  I did take this fun picture of my daughter in the  bathtub.  I used photoshop to play with the colors.  I think it has a nice dreamy quality.  Okay... I better go to sleep.  Hopefully tomorrow things will feel better.


pinkglitterfae said...

oh you poor thing!
I know how that feels like. Everything always comes at once. However it is only a phase which will pass, and it's made worse by lack of sleep. I find if I don't get enough sleep - which has been happening too frequently, I get moody and blue.

Hang in there, and do try and take even a couple of 15 minute breaks to sit alone with a cup of tea/coffee, and just breathe. It will help to refresh you. I pray your mom is cancer free


rebecca said...

such a deep current i see so many of us swept away by.
we all have our seasons..when terra firma gives way. when our rock of Gibraltar abilities cave and we are adrift...
like your beautiful daughter's photo...we spill across the surface of life's thousand requirements.
time to gather heaven.
something just for you.
something as simple as lying on the earth with your eyes closed and breathing in the force of life from her molten core.
holding you in my heart...
knowing this too shall pass.

Melissa said...

I agree - This too shall pass, even though it doesn't feel like it. It will. One day soon you'll be bored.


Imthemom said...

I know this is an old reply, but I'm just catching up and wondering how Leo looked in the picture of you two? Happy, healthy, well-loved and cared for? I'm guessing yes ;)

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