one side of the bridge
is the constant overwhelm
the other side is peace
I haven't written since September. I have two children under the age of five, I work full time as a mental health therapist, I teach at two universities, I am reading three theses (is that the plural of thesis?) for three of my students, I supervise interns, and I try to make and sell art. I am in constant overwhelm and my poor little blog has suffered (my family is not very happy either.)
Lately, I have been looking more critically at this whole overwhelm thing. Why do I overbook myself? Is the constant buzz of being busy distracting me from something else? The real problem is that in the past, I overbooked but always met my deadlines and met the expectations of those around me. With two little ones, I am not quite so able. A sick child (I have one right now) throws my entire schedule into a tizzy.
I have been reading a wonderful book called "Healing Rage" by Ruth King. She says that it is anger that I am distracting myself from. She also talks about a fear of being still. Something in this resonates. The only time I feel still is when I make art. It feels meditative... and I haven't done any of that lately either. Something about this revelation feels so important right now. I have to gather up some courage to be still and see what happens. Anyway, that is where I have been and what I have been doing. I have missed my Friday Haikus! Anyone else suffer from a constant need to be busy?