Little Frida

I finished a painting this evening- which makes me unbelievably happy.  I started this painting to donate to an auction- but somewhere in the middle, I realized I was painting about my daughter and couldn't give it up.  The painting started as a little Frida.  I have always loved painting Frida.  As a tragic teenager who loved to make art, Frida was my heroine.  Twenty-six years later, and I still can't get enough of her image.  I remember the first real life Frida painting I ever saw on tour in San Antonio- I couldn't stop crying.  She moves me. 

Another person who moves me is my daughter.  She is an amazing little person.  She is so smart that she can frighten me.  She spoke a hundred words when she was one. (my husband and I counted) She is extremely verbal and worries about black holes.  She is only three.  She sits in front of the mirror staring at her reflection as she makes different expressions.  Caya happy.  Caya sad.  Caya surprised.  She says she will never stop looking at herself- because she loves herself.  She draws unbelievable little people with eyelashes and tutus that dance, cry, and have babies.  She sings songs that she makes up with beautiful  melodies about how much she loves me.  She can also throw a tantrum that can make my blood curdle.  She is already telling me that I am ruining her life- just because she can't wear her favorite dress to eat spaghetti.  Her new sibling has only increased her penchant for drama.  Again she is only three.  Through her, I am learning how to be patient and accept her for all that she is- but it is not always easy.  I still can't believe I taught parenting classes.  I clearly didn't know anything at all about raising a child.

So- in this painting, I began to wonder about Frida.  I started stamping in the background... "I wonder what you were like when you were a little girl.  Were you exquisitely sensitive?  Could you throw a terrible tantrum when things did not go your way?  Could you be silly?  Did you want to be a princess?  Did you know that you were beautiful- wonderful?"   I answered on her dress "yes".

Distractions...

First- sorry I haven't written in a couple of weeks!  Life has been hectic.. as usual.  I wonder sometimes how I manage to be so busy.  I sometimes think that there is something about my constitution that hates sitting still.  Maybe it is the ADHD.  Not sure exactly.  I need to work on my ability to say "NO"... but I think that is pretty much like most women I know.  So, I end up seizing every opportunity and stretching myself to the point of almost breaking... and as long as I don't break, I don't really learn my lesson.

My biggest distraction was definitely my trip to Texas and my brother's wedding.  My mother is doing so well.  The cancer is in remission and she was able to hold her grandson for the first time.  So much of her illness I repressed while I was pregnant and after Leo's birth.  It was too much to think of my mother struggling with cancer.  I called her daily- I prayed- but I didn't really let the full recognition of what was happening seep into my psyche.  Seeing her dance with my brother at the wedding made me realize that I could have lost her.  It broke me.  I cried through the whole song.   I feel so blessed that she is healing and strong.  I also realized that I want to move closer to my family as soon as possible...

Other distractions- I am still moving things around my home... trying to create spaces for all of the creative people in our family.  I need an art studio, my husband needs a music studio, and my children need a dedicated space to play.  I will post some pictures this week of my little studio thus far...

I also finished a painting for another non-profit auction.  It was for "Project Commotion" which does movement based work with children.  I worked on a painting for a while- then realized that it was about my daughter and I couldn't donate it.  More about that later.  I finally finished an old painting.  I think I started it when I wanted to escape.  Not really feeling like escaping anymore, I just kind of would like a day to nap.

April showers...

Lots has happened this week...

First (and most important)- My mother got the news that her cancer has gone into remission!  She was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma almost a year ago and had to undergo some brutal chemotherapy.  Because the therapy was so intense- and her health was so compromised, she couldn't' travel... and because we had such a new baby, and we have been so afraid of illness too- we haven't traveled either.  Which means that my mother has not met my son.  (the pictures is of my mom with my daughter)  My brother is getting married this coming weekend- and we are packing up the family to go home to Texas.  I am beside myself with excitement about introducing Leo to everyone.  And I can't wait to hug my mom and feel her beautiful bald head:-)  I will have to create a retablo when I return!

I have also been very busy this week giving presentations and starting a new phase in my career doing mental health assessing and diagnosing for children who are having difficulty in school and are at risk of losing their school placement.  I am excited about the change- even though I am also a bit worried about how different it will be then doing treatment work.  I love knowing my clients for years... it will be hard to work with someone for only fifty days.

We are also getting new carpet in one of our bedrooms- which means everything in the bedroom is currently in the living room and dining room.  I really have a difficult time when my space is as chaotic as I am.  I am trying to just not pay attention.

Also important- the Oaxaca Street Children Auction has begun!  You can visit the site at http://recuerda-mi-corazon.com/.  The altars are so beautiful and creative.  What an amazing auction hosted by Rebecca Brooks!  Please visit and bid on one of the amazing altars!  How wonderful that you can get an incredible piece of artwork and also benefit a very worthy cause!

And lastly- I picked a winner using the handy dandy random number generator- and the lucky number was "5"- so congratulations to Faerie Moon Creation!  She sells beautiful jewelry on her etsy site.  I love this Alice in Wonderland inspired piece... - and I would urge everyone to pay her a visit here! 
Okay... I  am off to sleep.  I have so much to do this week to get ready for my trip!!!  
Love,

Me 

Una vida, muchas muertes - One life, many deaths

I have finally finished my cigar box altar for the Oaxaca Street Childrens Grassroots Auction!  The biggest changes I have made since the last time you saw it was I added some glitter (I love glitter) and put the birds and banner on the top.  I am happy with the way it turned out.  I could have kept going, but I am trying to learn how to stop.

This isn't my first altar.  I made one for my grandmother when she passed away.  It sits above my desk- next to her mocahete (grinding bowl).  It was one of the things I inherited from her tamale shop.  It is one of my treasures.  As an art therapist, I have made many altars with my clients.  I remember an altar I made with a young girl for her father.  It was so powerful.  It took us months to complete.
Anyway,  I call this piece- "una vida, muchas muertes".  I was thinking about the idea of losses as a form of death.  I thought it would be a great art intervention to make an altar around a loss- not of a person, but something else..  The loss of a relationship.  The loss of a friend.  The loss of a dog.   A life is a series of losses...  that sounded kind of melodramatic, but it is true.  From the cutting of the umbilical cord, we begin our lives losing the comfort of the womb.  As a mother, although the birth of my children is this amazing beginning- it is also a loss.  A loss of that incredibly intimacy that goes with carrying a child inside you.  One of my friends is currently dealing with the loss of having her son go away to school.  The losses never end.

These losses are no doubt small compared to the losses that many of the children that Oaxaca Street Children Grassroots provides for.  Even though I can complain and whine about my overwhelm, I understand how deeply blessed I am- and I have always felt that with blessings comes responsibility.  I hope the gift of this altar is helpful.   I will post a link to the official auction on April 16th.  The auction will be held from April 17th -April 24th.  The altars are beautiful!!!  For more information about this amazing project, visit Rebecca's blog at http://www.corazon.typepad.com/ or you can always click on the link in my sidebar.  And don't forget to sign up for my April give away!!!

April Give away

I wanted to be sure and post my give away for the month of April.  I wanted to include some new images- but it has been raining every time I have time to photograph (of course when I am completely busy the sun comes out).  Anyhow, I decided for this month that I would send a little care package.  I will include a couple of artist card prints inspired by my daughter and a glass tile necklace of one of my pieces.  All will come to you in my handy dandy Frida mailer:-)  So, if you are interested, please leave me a comment.  I will choose a winner on April 18th- so please leave a comment by April 17th.... now back to work on my altar for the auction to benefit the Oaxacan street children!  Check out the sidebar link for more information.  I am hoping to be finished in the next couple of days and have pictures posted!